12 weeks 3 days

I cannot belive this! this is my last week of the First trimester! Honestly, i didnt even think i would make it this far. Every day is a struggle but I keep pushing through. Hearing the heartbeat on friday has made me feel a little more connected but I just feel so lousy all the time. This headache has lasted over a week now and I have just about had enough. The good news is, my appetite is getting much better and although i am still pretty sick 90% of the time, i have started having some good days too!

The Dr. last week said i have lost 6lbs. when i should be gaining by now.. so he wants to put me on a medication to help me keep food down. I turned it down for now so i need to go back next week in hopes i have gained some weight. I have been forcing myself to eat a lot this week and have been doing pretty good with it too! We will see tomorrow what he says.

First Ob appt today

We had our first Ob appointment today with Dr. Foucher. He was nice enough I guess but i wasnt thrilled with him. He wouldnt anwser any of my questions or problems that im having and seemed to be rushing the entire time. The good news is that we heard the heartbeat for the first time today! I even recorded it on a Build-a-Sound from BABW to make our babies first teddy bear. April is so funny with the noise, she is so interested and freaks out when i play it. I cant wait to see how she reacts to all things baby.... like the constant crying.

I found a class called bark and babies that I might take. Its about introducing doggie to the new baby. We are going to our first class on Monday 3/22 to a basic pregnancy class in Boston. Im pretty sure there won't be any new information since I will be in T2 next week but it should be fun to be around other pregnant people and hey at least its a night out.

I have been feeling pretty terribly lately. The Morning sickness is horrible. I am constantantly "throwing up" nothing actually comes up but i sit in the bathroom for a looong time! I cant sleep at all and the last few days I have had a horrible headache that just wont seem to go away! On a better note I have been awake more during the day. This weekend we are going to Foxwoods, i am kind of nervous about staying up so late and the smoke in the casinos but im sure i will be just fine.

It has been physically and emotionally draining so far but i know the end result will make every pain, tear and fatigue worth it... im getting there!

jacob

I need to add Jacob to my baby boy's names... currently my favorite

10 weeks today!

10 weeks down, 30 more to go! Time flies by so fast. Before I know it you will be here! I cant wait. My countdown says that your hair is growing this week. That made me laugh becuase I didnt have any hair grow until i was 6 or 7 years old. With each milestone and each week I feel more and more comfortable being pregnant. I hate the constant sickness and discomfort but i know it all will be worth it in the end. Tomorrow is our first appointment with the new ob/gyno practice. I hope we can hear a heartbeat!

First Ultrasound

The ultrasound went great! I was terrified the whole day and didnt know what to expect when we got there. The girl doing the test was teaching someone else how to do it so i got to see and hear a lot. She checked on everything from the ovaries to the hormone sack (???), etc. And then she showed us out little bub! SOO AMAZING! I grabbed daddy's hand as we watched your heartbeat for the first time. Amazing. A day I will never forget, i have pictures but i need a video of that moment! it was love-story, happy ending, movie perfect. You are measuring spot on with your dates, we even moved the estimated delivery day up by 2, you are now due september 20th 2010!!

7 Weeks.

Wow time is flying already. Daily it feel like we are moving backwards but when i think about it it has already been 3 weeks since we found out we were pregnant.

Our first ultrasound is this afternoon. I am terrified. Like dont wanna go, curl in a ball and cry terrified. I feel big and tired and drained but I feel like my pregnancy symptoms are already disapearing. Last week I would have been thrilled with that idea but not so much now.

More doctors and more tests to find out what is wrong with me. I feel like the doctors wont do anything to make sure you are okay yet becuase it is to early and its frustrating. That is why i am looking forward to today but i dont know if i can handle any more bad news.

Today I found out my blood pressure is too low.. the lab used 4 veins to even get the blood cause it just isnt flowing. And my potassium levels are high. I am waiting to hear on the level but i have to go today to get re-tested. Diagnosis Hyperkalemia?

Fingers and toes crossed today goes well.

5 weeks and counting..

I can't belive how fast time is flying. September will be here before i know it! I cant wait to meet you you are only really 3 weeks along but i already feel so connected with you. Daddy loves you already too (even if he wont admit it!)

My 4week belly

ANA levels

Before I knew that I was pregnant I was seeing a neurologist for my headaches and migranes. At first they found white spots on my MRI scans and possibly optic neuritis. We are very glad that those tests came back negitive and that I am clear of Multiple Sclerosis right now. I have to repeate my scans in a year from now just to make sure that the "spots" aren't multiplying but for now i am in the clear! However, becuase they are unsure of why the "spots" showed on the scans in the first place I will have to be extra careful with certian medications that i take, watch my cholostorol and be careful with my blood pressure. On tuesday I went back to the neurologist for my last follow up appt. and found out my ANA levels were abnormal, a sign for an autoimmune disease which as the doctor says can also indicate misscarriage. Normally, none of this would be a problem only now im pregnant which really scares me since i can be in the high risk catagory. I am counting down the days until the second trimester now, its these first few weeks that scare me the most!

I have been a wreck all week, full of hormones and nerves. I am tired and cranky most of the time. I am unmotivated and terrified. I feel bad for taking all of this out of daddy and am trying to keep to myself more. I hate this. I just wish everything will be alright. I know it is in God's hands I just pray that he will keep you with me. I love you even more already.

Everyone knows!

Everyone now knows that you are in there! We had a wonderful weekend in NY. We had to tell Pappy over Skype since he was still in Buffalo working. I mailed him a grandpa baby book that he opened while we watched and my mom opened a Grannie Diaries book. Ashley was there when my parents found out. We told Danielle when she came home and went to visit Nikki at work to tell her. Everyone is so excited. Nanna is dying to go baby shopping (im sure she is already looking now) We talked a lot about baby names. I think once daddy and I do pick a name we will keep it to ourselves since there are lots of opinions in our families! Whatever we do pick, i am sure it will be perfect. We called Linda today and told her on the phone since we dont get to see her very often. I think she cried too!

now everyone that is close to us knows that we are pregnant and i feel like i can truly be more excited now. At least we dont have to keep it a secret when it is so hard to not tell poeple when it is such wonderful news!

Our first ultrasound is scheduled for February 4th, 2010!!!!!!

We are 4weeks 6days along today!

The end of week 1

This week has been such a whirlwind. The idea of it all is really starting to sink in. I look up online what you look like now and what parts of you are developing. You are only 2 weeks old. By the end of the week you should have very faint heartbeat! The woman's body is such an amazing thing they way that everything develops.

We told your Daddy's dad today and he was very excited too! we got him a mug that says Grandpa on it, well the first mug said I love my grandpa on it but daddy broke that one. Actually it kind of is a funny story. Since your new grandpa didnt come up for dinner yesterday we couldnt tell him we were pregnant but since we told Auntie Ellen we were afraid she would tell him while we were in NY over the weekend. So Daddy arranged to have grandpa meet him at the mall where i was working and we would give him the mug, only daddy broke the mug on his way into the mall so we had nothing to give him! Thinking quick he ran down to the store to get a mug engraved but when i went to pick it up they misspelled grandpa wrong! Meanwhile your grandpa knew something was going on as daddy and I were laughing and running back and forth trying to get a replacement gift just to tell him that we are pregnant! well when we finally did, of coarse we was more than thrilled. We are all so very excited! This weekend we are going to NY to tell my family! we all love you so much already!

The second Betas came back great! we are at 302 at 15DPO which is great. You are already developing nicely! We told Daddy's mommy today after we got the results. We bought her a plate that said Grandma on it. She is very excited! we also told Daddy's sister and her boyfriend tonight when they came over for dinner. She screamed almost as loud as I did the day I found out that I was pregnant. Everyone so far is very excited!!

Test results came back good. 97 and i am 13DPO. They are low but thats just becuase you are so young still. You aren't even an embryo yet but I know that your soul is there and that is all that really matters. I am so scared to loose you. The doctor says that there is a really high chance of miscarriage this early. I am terrified. I love you already.

The doctor wants to take some blood again to make sure that the beta numbers are increasing as they should. I have read that they should double every 24-48 hours. I think daddy is more nervous than i am. As long as the numbers have increased we have decided to tell our families. It isnt easy keeping you a secret!

Very First Doctor's apt

Tuesday January 12, 2010. Today is my very first doctors appointment. Daddy took the day off from work to come with me. He says that he wont belive we are pregnant until he hears it from the doctor :)

The appointment went well. The doctor congradulated us when she came in so i think daddy belives now that we are pregnant! He seems to be a little shocked but very very excited. We both are. The doctors took some blood to check my HCG levels today i will get those numbers back tomorrow. We cant wait to hear your little heart beating and see you on the ultrasound in a few weeks! We love you already.

The very beginning

Today is January 10th 2010. Sunday. Tied with my wedding for the greatest day of my life so far. Today I found out that we are pregnant!


Daddy and I have been trying for a few months now to concieve you. I am a bit nerotic, as you will soon learn and used a few methods to track my cycles and such. I even visited the doctor in Novemeber becuase i thought something could be wrong. I know now that you cannot rush these things. God waits for the right time to send the little ones from heaven. Your soul was not ready yet but now here you are. I am in love with you already.

This morning I woke up discouraged that you wouldnt be here. I took a pregnancy test just becuase I had them in the house, i am pretty sure nana and pappy heard me scream all the way in NY i was so excited. I couldnt wait to tell daddy and begged him to see the line too. (of coarse he did, he just didnt want to admit it) later in the day I stopped to get a digital pregnancy test, the kind that says pregnant or not without squinting at lines on a stick. It came up pregnant right away! (Daddy believes it a little more now)

It is very hard not to call and tell my family but i know that it is still very early to tell anything. Me, i just know that you are there. I love you already.